Today I decided it would be a good idea to go into work and maybe earn a little extra money and avoid overt food distractions. However, this is also the first day where I will learn the wrath of the Salt Water Flush.

As I previously mentioned, you are to chug 1 quart of salt water as soon as you wake up and within an hour you will have an extremely wet bowel movement. Generally I have pretty specific time budgeted (which I no doubt go over) to "prepare lunch for work", "maybe poop", "make breakfast", "brush my teeth" and "stretch". Today, I figured I would have plenty of time as I knocked-out "lunch for work" and "make breakfast".

So, I wake up and chug the salt water and await. After about 30 minutes I go to the bathroom. After another 5 minutes I go to the bathroom again. On my third trip I realize, amongst other things, that this is one of the closest sensations to being a woman I may ever get because you see, while I may say "poop" or "#2", it is more like you are urinating from your butt. As I am a male with a decent appendage, I rarely ever have a sensation similar to a woman's vagina, but today I did and for a second realized it probably felt pretty similar to what I was experiencing.

However, the projection had to end and I readied myself for my 30 minute commute (20 minutes walking, 10 minutes BART) to work. As I was departing my apartment I was thinking how I extremely did not want to have to desperately go to to the bathroom on the subway, or in the road, so I did a little check. The check I would say is equivalent to keigel exercises but you are more tightening your poop/butt muscles and seeing if you have to go. Sure enough I determined it would not be worth the potential mess so I ran upstairs for another go round. Following this I grabbed an extra pair of underwear and thankfully made it to work without any additional issues.

This is something you gradually learn throughout the cleanse, the time and extent of your poops following the Salt Water Flush. Hopefully I now know mine.

Well, poop ya later!

--daimian

Comments

. . .like a natural woman

Conviction

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