Wow, Day 10! And it's nighttime. In a way, the fast just ended: just now, I didn't drink a cup of senna leaf tea. Tomorrow will be the first morning I don't down a full quart of the "Seawater Flush" bright and early. And tomorrow will be the first day that my breakfast, lunch, and dinner are not all this one particular, beloved, fresh-squeezed, golden-hued, spicy lemonade.

But it's hardly over -- tomorrow is orange juice and grapefruit juice and nothing else, and the following day is the same, except that we make a vegetable soup in the evening for dinner. Then it will begin to really end, I guess. We'll be up in Green Gulch before I know it, and all will be beautiful and well. Right now, I'm experiencing the nighttime hunger pangs I've had many of the days; the next few days look long. And dealing with the fact so few of you weighed in to show us love after my Day 9 post hasn't been so sweet. You guys kind of suck. You know? OK, no, I take that back. You're all great and busy and not reading every word I write here. Fine. I do know you're out there.

This whole thing, this fast, this sanitas aegrotatioque reminiscor, has been a mix of highs and lows. Like life, I suppose. But more specifically, this is what it must be like to cleanse a body. Like when you clean out a closet or a motorcycle or a relationship, there's bound to be some dirty stuff to deal with that you'd rather not, some sticky detritus or envy or mildew that resists immediate cleansing. But then there's this delicious lightness and liberation that comes, too. I feel it all. I've cleansed a lot. But maybe I've just cleansed away the small stuff, so that the biggest questions stand out in relief, like beautiful stubborn stains. And, hey, I have gratitude for that -- it's clarity. Not that it's clear answers to every question, but clarity about what the questions really are.

Am I rambling? Maybe so. It's OK, I'm tired. The cleanse is over. Except that it isn't.

--tony

Comments are currently closed for this post.