Thinking back I am pretty sure it was yoga which motivated me to begin a new exercise. Thinking now, yoga probably actually just reminded me of sex.

Anyways, a couple of years ago while doing a push-up I realized that if you modify the motion and rather than the straight up and down robotic motion you instead simulated sex and moved in a much more circular motion, then all of a sudden the work-out becomes much more intense (and, no, not just that way). And, not only that, all of a sudden it is alot better and eases any potential difficulty with your back or your joints. A year of two after this discovery was when "Spellbound" (a stellar documentary about a number of kids competing for the National Spelling Bee) made it's way around the art houses. In the film there is this one extremely motivated Indian kid whom they show doing push-ups. I remember after having seen this some people I was with remarked "What the hell is he doing?", while I was thinking about what a smart kid he was to know the advantages on your joints and on the potential strength of your muscles.

However, what has gotten me to thinking about all of this again is that throughout this week I have been spending more time in front of the mirror (mostly naked). I think this probably started from waiting around to go poo in the morning and being in my bath robe. That and because it is fun. That and because I am also a little self-obsessed. Whatever, so in the morning I do these stretches (primarily the Sun Salutation, but also others) to wake up my body from laying around and trying to maintain some type of flexibility. A while ago I also decided that it was probably beneficial as well to prepare your body in much the same way as when you wake up, right before you go to sleep. By being more active in the pre-sleep process I assume your sleep becomes much more deeper and restful.

Well, I was stretching and then I started doing some strange stretches and, there we go, I wind up simulating a sex act. Besides just being enjoyable I am realizing how much it is giving a work-out to parts of my body (not just that part) that normally don't get exercise, and then a stronger work-out to all the parts which do. Now the two things I surmise from this are:

1. I really need to be having more sex and more "open/free/loose" monogamous sex

2. I bet there is someone out there who has a full "mock sex work-out" they already have on the market or are preparing to unleash onto the world (not necessarily S&M-based though. un-"leash"! Ha!). I am under the assumption it won't catch on right now, but as with most effective ideas society generally takes quite awhile to catch up. But have no doubt, before my generation is dead "The Sexercise" craze will have taken off.

Funny sidenote: My friend Nate Byerley is now also known as "The Juice Pedaler". Why this has come into being is because he modified a bicycle-powered blender to be much more efficient and attractive. For this bike blender, there is a convenient attachment to your X-tracycle (a bicycle with an extension) and a kick-stand which allows smoothies, margaritas and the like to be but a spin away. However, as I was originally going to his beta website one of the other top sites (which had an amazing name which I now forget) had a most interesting design for sale. I will recap the video to better illustrate the concept. So, you have this woman (pornstar? maybe. fake boobs? for sure) who is nude and is wearing a bike helmet. She then proceeds over to her bike which has a rather odd-shaped seat. It seems someone left a dildo attached to the seat. Well, she decided the best idea involved her just mounting the seat anyways and going for a ride. Let me tell you, it was quite a ride.

Poop!

--daimian

Comments are currently closed for this post.