Day 6: Cloud 9It is hard to believe it has almost been a week with no eating...that's just Crazytalk! Something I read somewhere is how some people eventually achieve this elated feeling where they feel like they are a child again, and anything that hypes youth seems to be an effective inspirational tool. However, it wasn't until last night that I caught a glimpse of this promised land. Granted it could be based on the fact that I got to speak to everyone in my family (dad - Stephen, mom - Kathy, and sister - Aleutia) and played music, but on my way over to Tony's house to watch "The Devil and Daniel Johnston" I was on some type of cloud 9. What was fascinating about it though is that people really did seem to respond to it and a large portion gave me a large, warm smile. By the time I got to Tony's it proved contagious and myself and Tony spoke in fun accents for a good 20 minutes. Playful and relaxing. I could get used to that.
--daimian
Posted January 20, 2007 at 10:10 AM |
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Day 6: More Smooth MovesYes, following in Daimian's footsteps, I too will sample the untold delights of the chocolate variety of the Smooth Move herbal tea this fine evening. And in another coup of blessed, undeserved, God-given variety arriving in my life, I discovered today in the fine print of the regimen that we can drink occasional cups of mint tea! Hell yeah, baby! Watch out! Mint tea, I'm coming for you! Git in my belly! Speaking of the regimen and the writings of Stanley Burroughs himself, I'll write more later, but there's quite a lot of fascinating material in his 1941 opus. Consider:
Man's mastery of disease will only be final when ignorance and fear are overcome by proper observance of all laws pertaining to the creation of bones, flesh, and blood. Also:
To be complete, a healing system must be able to cover the entire field of human experiences - physically, mentally, and spiritually. Anyway, I'll write more about his many ideas soon. I've had better energy today, much better. I worked out and felt great doing it. Walking around the neighborhood afterwards, an obvious thought about this hunger occurred to me. What if it weren't by choice? What if this were my daily experience whether I wanted it or not? It strains my imagination, even now. To live hungry, and not by choice--it would be so destructive and debilitating to every aspect of being alive. In perpetual hunger, hopes and dreams, loves and passions feel dulled by a gray cloud of need. Unchosen, hunger could only be a nightmare. How much more power must lie within us as a species to create a better world, to create anything we can imagine, when none of us is slowed by hunger? What possibilities await us when we do finally end world hunger? Of course it's a political problem, not a problem of resources. Food is plentiful. As Arundhati Roy and Mohandas Gandhi and numerous others have explained, we rich countries could easily feed the world, if profit and empire were not our top priorities. Gandhi summarized: "Earth provides enough to satisfy all men's needs, but not all men's greed."
--tony
Posted January 19, 2007 at 7:27 PM |
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Day 5: New Band Name alert: The Natural LaxativesToday has probably been the most consistent day so far in terms of how my energy level is. I think my body has had enough time to adapt to the situation. That being said I think the hardest time of each day is right around lunch. I work in a small architecture firm and everyone buys lunch and brings it back to work. All the smells floating around are at times a bit trying. However, I will say Roberta, my boss, was so kind as to bring me in lunch yesterday -- a single meyer lemon she had got from a job site. Funny? Most certainly. As for the rest of my energy, the late nights I have had the last couple nights will soon take their toll if I don't get some quality sleep this weekend. As Tony was referring to as well, we are kinda tied to the lemonade drink. It really is true that if we are hungry or low energy, one sip of the drink removes all of it. However, if you are too far away from the drink for too long your body starts getting weak, and my extremeties have started getting a little cold/light. I am sure I was quite the site at the concert, standing outside while everyone else is smoking chugging what I am sure looked like a cocktail and straight vodka, but was in fact the lemonade drink and water. As for the senna leaf tea we drink at night, it is really quite yummy. It seems senna leaf is a natural laxative and this particular tea company has a sense of humor and called their tea "Smooth Move". Catchy and accurate. Tonight, though, is when I feast...feast on the other "Smooth Move" flavor - "Chocolate Smooth Move". Ain't nothing like a little variety. Medium-length natural laxative sidenote: Growing up my mom would only buy foods which had zero sugar in them. For me as a little kid you can only imagine this was torture. For a good 5 years in there (probably from 6th grade to 11th grade) I was a little obsessed with cereal. Initially my mom would only buy 2 types of cereal: Uncle Sam's and Grape Nuts. The thing is, though, that I think these are cereals for the elderly because in the past (they have since widely rectified this marketing snafu) Uncle Sam's was plastered with "With Flaxseed, A Natural Laxative!" Now this can't be appealing to a large demographic, and especially a 13-year old kid. However, in all openness I will say that now 2 of my favorite cereals happen to be...yep, you guessed it: Uncle Sam's and Grape Nuts. Nature vs. nurture my ass! Well, happy poops around!
--daimian
Posted January 19, 2007 at 9:21 AM |
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Day 5: Patience, Power, and a Jug o' GoldOK, today was a tough day. Being at work was a bit more demanding on my attention than I'd expected, and my attention has become as predictable as a poker hand. I notice the way my energy and attention change, waver, disappear, return in force, depending on how long it's been since I downed a gulp of my power lemonade o' spiciness. Walking home after work, down 16th and Valencia streets, the polyglot fragrances of culinary wonders wafting through the cold air, towards my nostrils, into my nostrils, I felt... Hongry, with a big old capital 'H'. To deny oneself something, to refrain, to abstain—it's powerful. The well of latent power we all possess in our wills is at its rawest and most obvious when we withstand desire. Particularly, with food, this stuff of life, to choose not to take delicious sustenance when every part of me wants it, needs it, and it sits there, simply there for the taking. This is something the animal part of us cannot quite conceive. It makes no sense. It is power. Or else it's all just fragrances and frustration. I'm home, tired, and my tongue is white. It's supposed to be. It's supposed to be coated in white stuff as a sign of detoxification—and then possibly change other colors, too, before finally returning to perfect whole pinkness when I phase out of the fast and back into solid foods. It's Day 5, and I'm pulling through. I don't own a scale but I know I've lost a few more pounds. I just feel like tiny parts of me are dropping away and what's left forges ahead. Poop? There's not much left. The cleansing fluids are wringing and scraping my intestines regularly, and there's not much left. I'd thought tonight would be a social night. Daimian's seeing a band at the Make Out Room. No, I'm heading towards a hot shower and popping in a movie. Where's that jug o' gold? That lemonade, my lemonade.
--tony
Posted January 18, 2007 at 9:20 AM |
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Day 4: On HungerWell, I woke up and felt all better. No sore throat. No teeth pain. In fact today was the best day in terms of discomfort. What I think is most interesting though is that today, after going through all the associated fears (Is this fast actually negative for me? Are my teeth rotting? Is my body the first body to have the fast slowly kill me? Am I safe or not?) marked the first time hunger became much more evident. As I was walking home I thought about all the situations in the future where I will tell someone about my 10-day fast and they will reply, "No, I love food too much, I can never go that long without it", and how my experience is actually about my love of food. I believe it is common knowledge that whatever you deny from yourself extremely quickly and with great fervor becomes that which you desire the most. Alot of the cravings I had were initially derived from the fact that my body knew my mind made the ultimatum that I would not ingest any food. However, now that I am past those, I am having a deep, loving relationship with the culinary arts and am able to have some reflections as cravings... I envisioned this amazing Vegetarian Philly sub I used to buy on Archer Road in my hometown of Gainesville, Florida which had sauteed onions and green pepper loaded with cheese and placed on a toasted bun - it would literally ooze out, yummy. I thought about the 2-for-1 white pizza's my parent's purchased when we were younger from Nero's Pizza, flecked with basil and cheap as hell. I flew back to college and my "me" days where I would order Pokey Stix (these insanely delicious breadsticks with cheese on them served with Ken's Ranch as a dipping sauce) from Gumby's pizza, pick-up a 6-pack of Tequiza (beer) and some cheesy movie and have some quality alone time. Now that I am apart from food is when I am truly able to fully appreciate not only the immediate desires within, but the whole of my food history and all of the meaningful times I have had around it. Even moreso, now is when I will be able to almost with the utmost sincerity say a big "What, what!" to food, and in case it doesn't speak jive, "Thanks. Thanks alot". Well, poop ya later!
--daimian
Posted January 18, 2007 at 12:29 AM |
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Day 4: Tadasana and Talladega NightsToday went pretty well. Some hunger and cravings (idle daydreams of sandwiches and hot hearty tomato-based vegetable and whole grain soups). But nothing overwhelming; food is oddly, slowly, surely receding into the "something other people do" category, like smoking, painting, or TV. I had some really sweet, soft, ripe yellow lemons to make the lemonade with today, and that was a treat. I've been using pure organic lemon juice in bottles, which is good, but obviously nothing can beat the blessings of freshness and ripeness. Natural perfection. For those of you keeping score at home, I've been drinking a bit more of the lemonade the last two days. Burroughs recommends 60-120 ounces (2-4 quarts) per day, and I drank about 92 ounces yesterday and about 90 today, after only 64 on Monday. That's along with lots of pure water, of course, and the quart of brine for the flush in the morning. Tonight was a time of unity. Team Relaxative got together for some quality relaxation. To begin with, on Daimian's discovery and recommendation, the two of us took a very traditional hatha yoga class at the Institute for Integral Yoga. This Institute is a delight -- it's a castle-like building on Dolores Street that I'd never known about, though it's four blocks from my humble abode here on Calle San Carlos. It's a full ashram devoted to transformative yoga, practical wisdom, and a full spiritual practice. The yoga class we took was on the top floor of four well-appointed floors, in a room with lush blue carpeting, exposed dark wooden rafters, and a large round turret. The class included the normal poses, but the instruction emphasized breathing and presence and meditation. It was a wonderful class, relaxing and centering, and I felt the twists and turns and shivasanas deepening the cleanse into my body. Afterwards, Team Relaxative stopped by Lost Weekend Video for two-for-one movie rental night. Talladega Nights turned out to be a ridiculous Hollywood comedy of the pre-packaged variety, that nonetheless had some hilarious moments cleverly embracing, then skewering, NASCAR culture. While at Lost Weekend, Team Relaxative stopped into the photo booth for some snapshots, doing our best Victims of the Master Cleanse impersonations. Gotta get to bed. I'm actually going into the office in the morning.
--tony
Posted January 17, 2007 at 11:56 PM |
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Day 4: Last Night's DreamsI had a strange poop in the middle of the night last night. It smelled like beer. Beer. It feels like I'm cleansing inward, moving down through my body, peeling the onion, crossing the circles on a tree stump, and each new circle I hit is something new, something older. I had vivid dreams meanwhile, most of which had some kind of eating theme. I was conscious of being not supposed to eat, yet in some of the dreams I absentmindedly ate something -- a cookie or a piece of sushi -- and then panicked afterwards, realizing what I'd done. No! In one dream, I was strolling through some town and entered a diner. As I sat down and looked over the menu, I realized of course that I could only order one thing: a spicy lemonade made from organic lemons, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. The waitress came over, and I asked if she could make it. Of course I expected her to say no, so that then I could leave politely without having to admit that I'd been foolish for even stepping foot inside. But she said, "Sure, hon. We'll see what we can do." I was surprised and pleased -- I'd actually get to eat there in the restaurant. But then of course I realized, no way, there are proportions that have to be adhered to, ways of mixing the ingredients, this will never work. So I knew I wouldn't be able to drink it. But she brought over a cup that smelled right and shone the right shade of gold. So I sipped it. It tasted phenomenal. But there were other flavors, and I looked inquisitively up at the waitress. She commented, "He added some tea, some chamomile, some marjoram. Just to make it interesting." Confused, perplexed, thinking, marjoram?, I took another sip. And then I finished it. Delicious. I felt guilty, sinful.
--tony
Posted January 17, 2007 at 1:10 PM |
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Day 3: The Long and Quick of It (On teeth, breath and the Berkeley YMCA)Today is allegedly the hump day as Tony stated. This is supposed to be the last day, until your body's cycle ends with the 7th day (which is supposed to be rough as well), of intense toxins releasing. Quick numerological sidenote: Allegedly you die every 7 years as well, indicating that all of your cells will have regenerated. 4 times of this (think seasons) and you will be 28. 28 in astrological terms is supposed to be the beginning of your Saturn's return which involves a decision as to whether your current path should be one reflecting your current life, or whether you want to start exploring again. Essentially, it is a time of rebirth....a new cycle. Being at work, I will say, is much more difficult then relaxing at home as you also have all of these other things to focus on, but it is not too trying. The ways my body is showing is primarily through my teeth. I read the lemon juice is supposed to slowly leach the calcium out of your teeth and start to strip the enamel which makes them more sensitive and that definitely seems to be the case. Two side ways around this are by using a straw (which is to limit the contact made by the drink and your teeth) and making sure you wash your mouth out with water regularly. Alot of people who have had the teeth be a larger issue just replenish the enamel with a pro-enamel toothpaste, and I also assume it will just naturally come back as your body ends the fast. Additionally, my throat is starting to be kind of sore which is most likely a symptom of the detox; however, I will say the rainy, cold weather sure doesn't help the process. Hopefully it will be gone tomorrow shortly after the flush. One thing I learned today regarding situations which make the cleanse more difficult is the extreme importance of breath. Just a short time ago I read that one of the spiritual/emotional benefits of a fast is that you gain a heightened awareness of your surroundings (loosely alluded to by Tony's smell reference) and begin to perceive some situations as slightly different. Well, I had a voice class this evening and as I am naturally shy at new events, added to the fact that is was 7 women and me in the class, made me maybe even a little more distant tonight. However, we started to sing and extremely quickly I realized how much all of the breath you expel with vocal exercises was draining my energy and mental aptitude so I took the class just a little easier. Long metaphysical sidenote: I remember an amazing realization that I had at the Berkeley YMCA of all places. While with my friend, Tibor (who literally was once: a college cheerleader, a Las Vegas blackjack dealer, and a soldier, but was currently in the carpenter's union and was a stoner Berkeley-ite), we went to the hot tub at the YMCA. We decided it would be fun to determine how long we can hold our breath and he went first. He held his breath for close to 2 1/2 minutes which was a ridiculously long time to me. Granted we were in warm water which slows your heart rate down, but still it seemed really long. Next I was up and I inhaled a deep breath and went under. While underwater I was trying to slow my breath and essentially meditate. Within this process I started jumping to all of these different thoughts and just as I assumed I was going to have to come up for air I had a really positive thought and just at that moment I somehow inhaled another breath...while underwater. I can't quite explain how it happened, but I will have to say I find a great solace whenever I find something I don't quite understand in this world. Well, poop ya later!
--daimian
Posted January 16, 2007 at 11:21 PM |
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Day 3: Hunger and HeadachesI had my first real hunger pangs today. I've noticed that my senses of hearing and smell are becoming slightly heightened, as if my animal instincts are kicking in and searching, sniffing, listening for what to consume. Walking by an Indian restaurant today -- wow did that smell good! Food. And then I had to stop by Rainbow to stock up on maple syrup, and there, walking the aisles, I felt a thousand tiny cravings. No one thing screamed at me or became some beckoning Mephistopheles to my Faust; but kale and feta and chocolate and oregano and ripe tomatoes. Yes. During the afternoon, the headaches and hungers came and went like the peaks and valleys of a roller coaster. Up and down. Supposedly day 3 is the last day of hunger cravings; it's been my first. I had an unusually oily poop. Not sure what I'm detoxing there, but whatever it was, good riddance. Stanley Burroughs, in the original book on the Master Cleanse, talks much about the importance of cleansing the mucus that builds up in the body. Maybe that's what I passed today. Feeling a little irritation from all the cayenne pepper, and not needing to lose weight, I've slightly recalibrated my spicy lemonade along the lines that Burroughs suggests: more maple syrup and less cayenne, while maintaining the lemon levels.
--tony
Posted January 16, 2007 |
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Day 2: Loopy Lemonade2 quick points: 1. The lime/lemonade mixture is actually quite tasty. For anyone who has ever had the "Lemon Ginger Echinacea" juice lots of healthy juice companies sell, it is quite similar. I like it alot. 2. I felt quite loopy last night, but in the great I haven't slept for 24-hours way...giggly and emotional. I almost cried, which I would have wanted to do anyways, when my friends whom I deeply love, Benjamin David Lee and Lisa Anne Silberstein, came to say goodbye before they went back to their home in Guatemala. I love you kids and hope your journey is a safe, uplifting one full of healthy poops! Well, poop ya later! --daimian
Posted January 15, 2007 |
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