Daimian, you may be pooperifically correct. I think I was dehydrated parts of the last two days. I had been neglecting water. That explains a lot. I just downed most of a quart of fresh spring water and feel much better. And then I squeezed my first glass of orange juice. Oh yeah, baby, OJ. Delicious. I think I bought the wrong kind of oranges, but oh well. Or maybe they're just already a little dry and low in quality from the effects of the Great Freeze of January 2007 (as the ominous signs at Rainbow last night declared). I think my worries about this Day 11 were overwrought. And tomorrow night we get soup. Soup, world, soup.

I can't believe the spicy lemonade is a thing of the past. At least for now.

--tony

As Tony hinted on, this isn't so much a 10-day fast. By my limited amount of knowledge and based on the fact you are not supposed to eat for 12-14 days, it seems more like a 12-14 day fast. I guess maybe what they meant is a 10-day cleanse. Whatever, that would make most sense.

I keep reading how Tony has hit all those low points and I will have to say my experience has been different. I am not sure the amount of water Tony drank, but I drank gallons. Alot of times tiredness as well as hunger simply is triggered by a bit of dehydration. Therefore, I would recommend to all who try the fast, and all who don't, that as we are composed of 70% water we need to keep replenishing. Water rules! If you think it is icky or boring then add a little juice too to get some subtle sweetness, squeeze a lime to perk up the edges, add a little flavored seltzer to have your tongue thanking you for days for the sensual massage. Water!

Anyways, I haven't been low energy and feel as if I have the capability to go a full month in terms of energy as my body has acclimated. My id though is screaming . . . chew, gnaw, scraggle, bite!

Catch ya on the poop side!

--daimian

The Green Gulch celebration is coming soon! Saturday afternoon at 12:15 Daimian and I will break our fast at a celebratory lunch in the Green Gulch Farm Zen Center dining room. And you're invited! This will be a joyful and happy time, but also one that is conscious and centered rather than raucous or orgiastic (that will come later, baby) to appreciate the peace cultivated at Green Gulch. Wearing dark or muted colors is respectful of the Zen atmosphere at Green Gulch.

A small contribution to the Center of around $7 for lunch will be appropriate.

Please let one of us know by noon Thursday if you're planning on coming, so that we can ensure there will be space and food for you!

Green Gulch Farm Zen Center is an active, practicing Zen Buddhist Temple, sangha, and organic farm. It is a sacred and beautiful valley community, one of my favorite places in the world. It is located in Marin, in a seaside valley between Marin City and Muir Beach. Before and after lunch are both great times to meditate or to take sweet hikes to the beach or up into the bluffs overlooking the ocean. The food they prepare is simple, dense, natural, and amazingly delicious -- largely of ingredients they grow there at the farm. (It's exactly what my body wants right now -- nature's most basic and pure building blocks in delicious, minimalist combinations.)

Daimian and I are going to spend Friday night in the guesthouse (a building constructed in the demanding Japanese style, without nails), and I'm going to also stay Saturday night. The weekly Sunday morning Buddhist meditation service, tea service, and lunch (sort of their version of Sunday church service), as well as Friday night also are good times to pay a visit.

See you there!

--tony

Wow, Day 10! And it's nighttime. In a way, the fast just ended: just now, I didn't drink a cup of senna leaf tea. Tomorrow will be the first morning I don't down a full quart of the "Seawater Flush" bright and early. And tomorrow will be the first day that my breakfast, lunch, and dinner are not all this one particular, beloved, fresh-squeezed, golden-hued, spicy lemonade.

But it's hardly over -- tomorrow is orange juice and grapefruit juice and nothing else, and the following day is the same, except that we make a vegetable soup in the evening for dinner. Then it will begin to really end, I guess. We'll be up in Green Gulch before I know it, and all will be beautiful and well. Right now, I'm experiencing the nighttime hunger pangs I've had many of the days; the next few days look long. And dealing with the fact so few of you weighed in to show us love after my Day 9 post hasn't been so sweet. You guys kind of suck. You know? OK, no, I take that back. You're all great and busy and not reading every word I write here. Fine. I do know you're out there.

This whole thing, this fast, this sanitas aegrotatioque reminiscor, has been a mix of highs and lows. Like life, I suppose. But more specifically, this is what it must be like to cleanse a body. Like when you clean out a closet or a motorcycle or a relationship, there's bound to be some dirty stuff to deal with that you'd rather not, some sticky detritus or envy or mildew that resists immediate cleansing. But then there's this delicious lightness and liberation that comes, too. I feel it all. I've cleansed a lot. But maybe I've just cleansed away the small stuff, so that the biggest questions stand out in relief, like beautiful stubborn stains. And, hey, I have gratitude for that -- it's clarity. Not that it's clear answers to every question, but clarity about what the questions really are.

Am I rambling? Maybe so. It's OK, I'm tired. The cleanse is over. Except that it isn't.

--tony

Okay, so I guess I would have assumed I would have been smart enough based on the fact me and Tony had a detailed conversation about how we were bringing a spare pair of underwear around (and he even went one further as to have a plastic bag) just in case the Salt Water Flush decides to rear it's ugly bottom, but no.

Daimian Holiday Scott, everyone, is an idiot sometimes. Maybe always by accident, but doesn't it seem everything in life is kinda by accident.

Okay, a new tip for those males who are willing to take the challenge that is...the MasterCleanse -- sit-down while peeing.

The basis of the above conversion we were having revolved around how this weird thing happens sometimes when we are peeing where I guess the extra salt water comes out of your butt as well as you are flexing the same "toilet" muscle, and how it was kind of a strange sensation. Now add to this the fact that though one of my favorite things in the world is peeing in the outdoors when it is brisk, I tend to sit-down normally when I pee. I mostly do this for sanitary reasons because based on our wonderful laws of gravity as the liquid comes out of my penis and hits the water in the toilet bowl it splashes. Coming from Florida and wearing shorts I knew all too well that it tends to splash on your legs, as well as all around the toilet. Now if you are at a public restroom, or someone else's house (just kidding all of my friends who may be reading this!), then you just drop your pants and let loose. However, at my own house I would prefer to not have pee on my pants or pee on the floor. Today, though, I was at work which is generally somewhat akin to a "public" restroom.

Here I am ready to have this great release (as all you drink is liquid for 10 days, you tend to need to use the restroom at least 10 times a day to dispell toxins) and I start peeing and I realize that simultaneously some fluid is coming out the other end right onto my underwear. Fucking great! Now I am at work and have to clean the miniscule mess, but still I know where that miniscule comes from, up. I wind up wearing wet (but clean) underwear the rest of the day. I also wind up with a potential idea for the continuation of this blog.

Now I have no shame in the story because I know it really does happen to all of us at some point in our lives (if it hasn't happened yet, just you wait). So (wink, wink), why don't we continue the life of this blog by the whole world having a venue to share momentous poop stories and really make the tagline work "The Relaxative: A Blog about Poop"? Because, seriously, everyone has one of those times you did when you wish you didn't.

Poop abounds all around us! We as a culture are abundant in poop!

--daimian

Tony beat my Day 8 posting. Thanks alot, poopface!

Anyways, man is anyone ready for a hamburger. A nice big, juicy all-meat hamburger. Not me, I wouldn't touch the stuff. Actually, literally, having been vegetarian all my life I really think I would much rather never physically touch raw meat. I guess at this point it would almost seem canabilistic.

Day 8 was fun. Mellow. Relaxing. Poopderful!

--daimian

If you've been reading this and haven't yet posted a comment, how about now, friend? Just pick a post, click 'comments,' and show some love. We need your support. We're on Day 9, but we're looking down the barrel of the long four-day phase-out period. For nearly two days we get no lemonade -- only orange juice and grapefruit juice! Then there's a day of vegetable broth, then raw fruit and vegetables.

It's worth noting that of the many people I know and have contacted who have done the Master Cleanse, only about half have reached Day 10. And none has completed the phase-out period as written! No one's done it; everyone's had their reason for speeding things along. Perhaps this is where the emotional and psychological trial is at its toughest. I know I feel increased mental clarity and emotional presence today on Day 9, and it feels like we've made it, like we're done. But Burroughs and others write that the phase-out period is super important for a successful cleansing and a healthful return to normal eating.

We want all you out there to know that Team Relaxative is up to the challenge. But we're counting on your support. Let me hear it, Bay Area! Let me hear it, East Coast! Let me hear it, St. Louis! Let me hear it, Guatemala! Feel the love. Show the love.

--tony

Yesterday, I was in a little corner grocery buying organic lemons and limes to juice. I brought 20 to the counter (and nothing else), so I felt a need to talk to the cashier. "I'm doing a cleansing diet," I explained, telling him a bit about it. When the words "Master Cleanse" escaped my lips, a young lady, one of the few other people in the store, came over. "You're doing the Master Cleanse?" she asked. I nodded. She'd done it, she said, but only made it to Day 9.

"Day 9?" I asked incredulously. "How do you make it to the second-last day and not finish it?"

"I just couldn't quite do it," she seemed embarrassed. "I cheated and then couldn't go back. How's it going for you?"

I told her some of the highs and lows I've had, with the generally positive spin on the whole experience that I've been feeling.

"You look great," she offered. "It's like you're glowing. Your face is glowing. Your eyes have a twinkle."

"Wow, thanks," was all I could think to say. She was cute, too. I guess I don't only feel good, I look good. Thank you grocery girl!

Back in the warm sun, feeling blessed, I met up with Daimian, Jon, and Beth, and some Israeli friends of theirs. We played a really good hard game of soccer there in Mission Dolores Park. Yeah, feeling good good good.

--------

Update. I was just talking to my roommate Maria, and she suddenly interjected: "You look good today." She paused. "I mean, for a few days there, you were kinda pale, kinda tired-looking, like your body was going through something. Now you look healthy, you look good."

So the grocery girl was right.

--tony

I concur with Daimian. This fast is an exercise in the 'c' word: commitment. Can I be content with one of something -- food, person, job, lifestyle -- when the universe produces so many different enticing versions?

So far so good. I'm rocking the lemonade, loving it, and staying faithful. This is a promise I will not break.

But as Jimmy Carter confessed, I have sinned in my heart. My dreams are of a slice of really good, dense, healthy, whole grain bread, toasted, with a little real butter on top. Other times it's peanuts and raisins and brazil nuts -- yes, brazil nuts. Or cooked kale with sauteed onions. And tam kha soup, spicy and coconut-milky. Oh, and grapefruit juice! And, OK, sauteed almonds & red peppers on brown rice.

And so I see the power of commitment.

Generally I've just felt great these past two days. Hunger now crops up only in the evenings. And I'm noticing changes in my skin and hair and appearance. My skin is softer and smoother. And skin imperfections -- I've occasionally over the years had athlete's foot or other little fungal things -- are totally utterly gone.

I like what Burroughs says about skin imperfections:

Lumps and growths are formed all over the body as storage spots for unusable and accumulated waste products, especially in the lymphatic glands. These accumulations depress and deteriorate in varied degrees, causing degeneration and decay. The liver, spleen, colon, stomach, heart, and our other organs, glands, and cells come in for their share of accumulations, thus impairing their natural action.

These growths and lumps appear to us as forms of fungi. Their spread and growth is dependent on the unusable waste material throughout the body. As the deterioration continues, our growths increase in size to take care of the situation. Fungi absorb the poisons and try to take the inferior material from the organs. This is a part of Nature's plan to rid the body of our diseases. When we stop feeding this fungi and cleanse our system, we stop their development and spread; then they dissolve or break up and pass from the body. They will not feed on healthy tissue. There is a simple set of laws which explains this action. Nature never produces anything it does not need and it never keeps anything it does not use. All unused material or waste is broken down by the probiotic action into a form that can be used over again or eliminated from the body. All weak and deficient cells, caused from improper nutrition will also be broken down and eliminated from the body.

We spend a good portion of our lives accumulating these diseases, and we spend the rest of our lives attempting to get rid of them -- or die in the effort!

It's amazing to realize how busy my digestive system normally is. During waking hours of normal life, my body is constantly dealing with food -- either cooking, eating, digesting, or generating hunger for the next meal. And now, like a factory that normally runs 24/7 taking a week off, my internal body is at rest.

I've lost about five pounds. As Burroughs says, "For those worried about losing weight [on this diet], remember, the only things you can possibly lose are mucus, waste, and disease. Healthy tissue will not be eliminated."

--tony

Something all of us humans like is variety. Variety is generally pretty easy to achieve. Each day is always going to be a little different. If you love pizza, each pizza place is going to be just a smidgen different, if not immensely so. However, what seems like a difficult task for us is to forge a comittment with one thing. Whether it be a relationship, a routine, a religious practice, it becomes amazingly trying to place value on the one thing above all else...to not get bored. In a way I believe that is one thing I am really coming to terms with on the fast - to not only appreciate the one thing, but to look forward to it. I have read in many places that as people leave the MasterCleanse they then have cravings for the lemonade concoction (lime/lemon, maple syrup, cayenne pepper), and I am sure the simplicity of the diet.

With all that being said, and as both myself and Tony are only human after all (okay, maybe super-human), we were both beyond excited to find a juicer so we can start using real lemons rather than our organic lime juice from a bottle. Therefore, we scavenged Thrift Town and the 17th Street Community Market to find something to juice all those lemons. We both scored and I am excited to use the juicer for future juicing endeavors.

Afterwards, with yesterday being such a beautiful day we met some friends in the park for a little playing in the sun. We tossed the football, threw the frisbee and played some futbol with our new Israeli friends. Lots of fun and lots of energy. Something I look forward to learning from the incident, though, is how my lower back will heal as it was kind of sore after all of the running around (the same area as a horrible bout I had last year after working full-time where I was debilitated for awhile, and actually still haven't really had the ability to run since - it actually has been quite a bummer). We will see how my sore back fares with only the lemonade concoction. In the best possible scenario it will actually have a chance to heal everything around it and remove the pain for life (go super-human strengths!).

Quick Romantic Sidenote: At the park within a 10-yard radius of where my friends, Jon Astman and Beth Oelberger, were sitting, within the 2-hours we were there not one, but two, ex-girlfriends wound up sitting there with their new boyfriends - Nicole Bliss Califano and Emily Pamela Macy. Strange, huh?

Well, poop ya on the flip side!

--daimian